Discordian Research Technology

Ever since I’ve started hearing about how Grate Leader has selected some dude named Petraeus to be his new head henchman in the middle east, a disconcerting tickle has been tormenting the back of my head. Why is that name so familiar? A self-described “doctor” confirmed my bad case of occipital lobe epilepsy (which can cause deja vu), which he quickly cleared up with an aggressive lobotomy.

I feel much better now. But what about that Petraeus business? With my newly emptied head, I was able to uncover the shocking truth: the US Army’s new chief of staff is actually a mythological creature with an unexpected Discordian connection. It’s a brilliant disguise, General. At least brilliant enough to get you the job despite Bush’s hatred for human-animal hybrids. May I offer you a congratulatory flagon of wine?

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(We’re still here, taking an unexpected break. Stay tuned while my pineal gland grows back.)

Even though his body no longer does.

I would say that I’ll miss you, Rev. Loveshade, but that would be a lie. You were so far ahead of me that it will take decades before I’ve understood what you’ve already said enough to need more. I’ll miss you then. I wish you many exciting adventures in your new state of being. I love you.

Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
‘Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I’m there…

Rev. Daschious’ post reminded me of this wonderful one from The Huge Entity. So here you go.

It should appear as no surprise that such a scientifically governed society as this can still be bolstered by religious intent: the problem of attaining a satisfying picture of the universe, is intensely difficult to solve. In order to even begin we not only need to pose the right questions, we need to be examining the very texture of our questions in the first place.

Western intellectualism needs to understand its extraordinary scope of understanding in light of the things it still doesn’t have a clue about. Progress in these areas will not come from better models, or clearer theories. It will comes when those models and theories are absolutely destroyed, when the Mu manifests itself the most clearly. Religion can give people an overarching intention for existence, whereas science cannot. Perhaps we need to start teaching people that intention itself is an illusion, that first causes and are mere human models for the homogeneous, reflexive-all we actually inhabit.

Jacob Weisberg thinks Mitt Romney’s religious beliefs are a disqualifier for holding office, and goes to great lengths to demonstrate how bankrupt those beliefs are. Well, I certainly don’t want any faith-based loons in office. It would be disastrous! But Weisberg’s arguments suck. What’s the problem with them?

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