It’s hard to keep up with not keeping up with all the atrocities I’m ignoring and the works I’m not reading. I slip sometimes. Before you know it, there I am with a book or off inveighing. To make up for that, I try to find time to comment on the people who comment on my neglect of tragedies and bemoan my lack of reading. I love you, my Stakhanovite brothers and sisters, even in the depths of my frivolity. There’s just one thing. Well, maybe more than one. Some people, like me, don’t always have the opportunity to collect all those signatures. The effort necessarily affects other aspects of our lives, many of which can’t be deferred. Some, again like me, don’t know a great deal about the heinous occurrence du jour. Not enough to inveigh, at any rate. There’s no lack of enthusiasm. I’d really like to scold, fulminate, plead, denounce and offer pens. Honest. I envy that aura of righteousness. I yearn for the groaning bookshelves filled with asymptotic critiques.
But . . .
Okay, so, I believe I have a solution that will work for all of us. I’m going to issue nag vouchers. They can be redeemed at a nag value that’s ten times the purchase price and they’ll come in postage paid envelopes. All you have to do is buy them and mail them to me. My friends are going to issue their own vouchers. A few may prefer to use some other concept than nagging. Harangue debentures, scold certificates and denunciation subscriptions will be yours. It’s win/win for everyone!
