Discordian Research Technology

At almost seven feet tall, the woman was both imposing and drop-dead gorgeous. She reminded me of a greyhound. I mean that in a good way: sleek, athletic, with a sharp and intelligent face. In fact, she looked exactly like your standard runway model, an impression enhanced by the drab surroundings of a low-rent laundromat. She was stunning, and that’s why I felt a little sorry for her.

At first, I was amused. This was apparently men’s day at the laundromat, and she was outnumbered a half-dozen to one. They formed a loose cloud of planetoids, randomly orbiting the heavenly body that simply didn’t belong there, captured in the gravitational pull of her beauty. Read the rest of this entry »

Happy Defenestration of Prague Day, everyone!

Defenestration has a long tradition amongst the Czech, and not just in Prague. Prague is the standard-bearer for this wise practice, though, and has had at least two famous incidents of it, one in 1419 and one in 1618. The latter is my favorite, simply because of the involvement of a manure cart, which makes the symbolism that much more organic.

Like the practice of shunning, adopting defenstration might send most of our problems straight out the window. So long as we remember to put the manure cart in the right spot.

Break through the barriers of idiocy and corruption. Defenestrate today.

It’s true, dear readers. I simply got bored and wandered off, consorting with flammable whores whose affections can be had for stale cookies. Poor Rev. Daschsious carried the torch all by himself these months, and I apologize to him for that. Thank you, Rev.

However, I’ve now grown burnt with being bored and am returning to dazzle you with more bullshitwisdom! I know that many of my loyal readers have wandered off, so here I am lobbing a warning apple. If you’re not careful, you might get sloppy bits of wisdom splattered on your shoes very soon.