Stop Drinking Bottled Water

No bottled waterIt has long been the stance of the BBC (No Relation) that bottled water is to be forsaken as an affront to Our Lady Eris, as it is taking one of the most potent Eristic forces and confining it in a prison of Anerism. It takes a wild, primal force, strips it of life and energy, and turns it into a factory-made product, convenient for labeling, shipping, and charging an insane markup for. However, there are plenty of other reasons to avoid bottled water, ranging from your personal health through the health of the economy and the planet itself. (Fun fact: did you know that it takes 3 gallons of drinkable water to produce 1 gallon of bottled water? And they call us crazy.) Alissa Walker gives us yet another reason, perhaps the most basic reason of all:

Last week a Nestlé CEO pissed a whole bunch of people off when he said he would not stop bottling water at the company’s California plant, not too far away from where people’s wells are running dry. In fact, he would bottle more if he could, he said, because Americans just can’t stop buying it.

In response, people began tweeting this page from Nestlé’s site of all the bottled water brands to boycott. Great, boycott all those. And all other types of bottled water, too.

But don’t boycott bottled water because of this drought specifically. Or because Nestlé or any other company is profiting from water that actually belongs to fish or almonds or other humans—although to be honest, we actually don’t know how much water they’re stuffing into those ribbed sleeves because that information is protected by the state’s government.

The reason you should boycott bottled water is because it enables a bullshit, backwards vision for society.

(Thanks to jwz for the tip.)

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