Oracularities

Look though herePretty much every culture that we know of throughout history has had oracles, so we know they’re pretty important. An oracle’s job is to provide insight and wisdom. Contrary to the popular image of them, very few oracles were into predicting the future. They tended to be more about looking at the now in a new and different way.

Our modern cultures are no different, of course. We have oracles everywhere, from Magic 8-Balls through advice columnists, celebrities, therapists, and even some people who actually hold more wisdom than most of us.

Oracles have been with us online from the very start as well. Even before the internet existed, oracles abounded on countless BBSes. And before the BBSes, oracles were a fixture on time-shared mainframe computing systems.

Curious about what the online oracle biz is up to these days, we took a quick survey of online oracularities.

The Internet Oracle

Douglas Adams on OraclesWe have to start with this one, because respect. It’s probably the very first oracle on the internet and is still the best. We fondly remember the Internet Oracle from the days before internet access was available to the general public. We’re happy to say that The Great One still has it.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Uh, how do I get past security?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Go to future security and wait.

The Discordian Oracle

Of course Discordians have our very own oracle. This performs a reading of The Discordian Tarot for you, and while we wouldn’t normally include fortune-telling in this list (that’s a different subject), The Discordian Oracle isn’t a fortune-teller. So there.

The Inkblot Oracle

We really love this one and consider it to be the truest oracle of the bunch. It provides no oracularities itself, but instead opens a gateway to the oracle that has been yammering at you from inside your head.

The Divinator

The Divinator lets you chat with two sages (and, optionally, Shakespeare) at the same time, to ensure the broadest and deepest possible analysis

Bobbymeizer

You wrote:
Tomorrow, I will need to change what I did yesterday. How can this be done?

bobbymeizer responds,
Working with an almost 14 month old daughter who is learning the language game: one night I was holding her and she pointed down the stairs and said “dooh” so I carried her down the stairs and just stood there, and then she pointed up the stairs and said “uh” so I carried her back up. Why did this make me feel guilty?

Gorm’s Wisdom

Vikings winVikings are very busy folk, and Gorm the Wired noticed that everyone pretty much asks the same things over and over. So, to save the supplicant’s time, he has dispensed with requiring you to actually type in a question and lets you click on the issue the question is about to get your answer in the form of a Viking proverb. You can also help make viking proverbs.

A Stupid Person’s Guide To Life

The fine oracle engineers at Rinkworks has made it even easier, and have simply provided a short list that, if you follow it, will bring you joy, riches, and a long life. Or maybe just make you a little less stupid. Or maybe a little more. It’s kinda hard to tell.

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