Literary Vigilantism: Urine Trouble Now

Jugs of urine

Available in bulk

99 Bottles of Pee on the Wall” is an exciting and touching tale of retributive jaking that might make you pee your pants. This is a jake doing what a great jake should do: bringing enlightenment to every person it touches.

The more you do something—even something a bit weird and aberrant—the more normal it becomes to you. Nudists know this, as do bulimics, self-cutters, compulsive hand-washers, scratch-off lottery addicts, and people who masturbate while driving on the interstate. Peter walked in on me a few times backstage, caught me peeing into a bottle, and hissed, “That’s fucking sick, dude,” and I always thought he was the one being unreasonable.