How Many Bass Players Does It Take To Change a Light Bulb?*

Bass players are often denigrated not only by the other band members, but by many in the audience. On one level, this is easy to understand. Bassists just don’t look like they’re working that hard, and in bands that don’t have someone playing the tambourine, that can stand out.

Honest bass playerNo matter how understandable, this ridicule is unwise.

Bass players are controlling a mighty power. A power that should be respected even if they are incompetent. Especially then, just as you would with a gun in the hands of a toddler. Ridiculing the little tyke would be very disrespectful of the power, and we advise against it. Bass players are no different.

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The Golden Apple

[Originally published on Cfn 39, 3172]

 

The Golden Apple SoundtrackFor anyone who believes that the frequent appearance of Eris in popular entertainment is a recent phenomenon, I present to you the fact that in 1954 there was a hit Broadway play of an unmistakeably Discordian nature.

In those ancient days (the ’50s, I mean), times were very different. Men were men, women were women, and golden apples were golden apples. People spoke from the heart and told it like it really was. So when slightly effeminate men reinterpreted the myth of the golden apple for Broadway, they didn’t feel the need to snub Eris again by leaving her out of the story. Unlike some entertainment megacorporations I could mention.

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