The Map of the Gods

Contributed by David Greensberg

I originally noticed that Maui looked like a female torso, that was when I lived on Maui a few years ago.
So I tried to see if the rest of the islands also had some type of form, well you can see the results
after putting it all together, shape-wise. I noticed certain famous places like the blow hole on Oahu, the
famous nude beaches (there are only two that are allowed on the islands both on Maui), corresponded to
the shapes, so I looked for more. In fact I found so many that I left many off to avoid clutter. Here are a

  • On Maui, in Nahiku, near Hana, on the rump of Maui, there is an old rubber plantation planted by settlers years ago, no longer in use.
  • The Hawaiian word ‘wai’,as in Waikiki, has two translations, water and semen, so Waikiki means both spouting water and spouting semen.
  • The island of Maui has a state-protected historical area that is round and exactly the size and place where the eye on Maui’s face would be.
  • There are many mythological stories that took place at certain areas and the stories correspond to the forms that I have shown, usually they are all funny and erotic as the ones that I show on the map are.

Everything is accurately taken from authentic sources. One thing might be wrong: the tallest waterfall on the islands is on Molokai, at the beginning of Halawa (w’s are prounounced like V’s in Hawaiian) Valley. I
visited there before it was closed off to the public (it’s private land.) There are two magnificent waterfalls near each other, they seemed to me to be almost the same height, so although I am not sure the second waterfall is the second tallest, I guessed it was, everything else is taken from books on Hawaiian mythology and Hawaiian placenames and their histories.

All in all, though some people scoff, clearly this whole scheme is a design, telling the story of human  procreation, from Kauai (a mans head, I left out the mustache formed by a huge ridge exactly the place and size for a mustache) to the Big Island, told using natural forces such as volcanos, erosion, and ocean forces, also using human history intertwined Hawaiian mythology, all forming a funny, erotic message giving us a glimpse into the mind and power of Nature’s controller.

Click here for full-sized image