The Opposite of Sex

(We didn’t write this. It originally appeared at 3 Gamer Chicks. That site is long gone, but we saved this bit of genius here for posterity.)

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I was perusing the shelves at Wal-Mart one evening, flipping through children’s books and fondly reminiscing about ones I’d enjoyed as a kid when I found this. It was utterly, fabulously too priceless to pass up. The five bucks I shelled out for this unintentionally incredibly perverted book were all well, well, worth it.

bobsex01

Before you begin, please note that Bob the Builder and all his compatriots are Copyright 2002 by HIT Entertainment PLC and Keith Chapman. This book was remarkably sexually perverted, but this write-up was meant to be all in good fun. Despite what it seems, I’m sure Bob the Builder is probably very wholesome, and these people were misguided, not intentionally writing pornographic stories for children, as I suggest at multiple junctures in the following feature. In other words, it’s a joke. He is not a sexual deviant.